I came home from work early yesterday. It was the first time since I started three months ago that I couldn't imagine being there for the entire shift. I know it's a wussy sort of thing to do, to come home just because of the whole uterus vs. Advil campaign that was raging inside, but I did it.
My spine attempted several times to take over and curl up on itself. Okay fine. I went home and called my spine and uterus out on their bluff. "Is this what you want? A mattress? You big mattress baby." My body hates being mocked so I kept on. "I can lie here all afternoon if I have to and well into the night."
I made coffee to bolster the Advil. I had my Baker seed catalogue which is basically garden porn and I had my skinny blind dog to keep me anchored in place. Get an Italian Greyhound, ladies, if for no other reason than to take advantage of his body heat and perfect fit against your lower abdomen once a month. It's so worth all the vet bills, the constant pleading for him to eat and getting up at 6am on your days off to let him out.
So there I was, feeling fatigued and *guilty. Guilty about coming home early instead of sitting through another conversation explaining the differences between various heartworm preventatives. The guilt monster and the continual stretching and contracting of my uterus almost made me want to throw in the towel. I could end all of the physical and emotional discomfort by lying on the road in the path of the bus that chugs through the neighborhood every 40 minutes. I pretty much know it's schedule. It would be much less work to just shimmy out to the street in my yoga pants and tattered afghan and just lie down, right there, in the path of the ol' #6.
The thing is, I fell asleep so I missed the bus, and the next one, and the one after that as well. By the time I woke up a cease fire had been reached. A numbing calm had taken over which was so much better than the rays of shooting pain that were emanating from the center of my body. It was all better. Thank you, awesome co-workers, for allowing this epic battle to take place in the privacy of my own home.
*Mulish Mystery: Why am I not on better terms with guilt seeing as it is a near constant companion?